What’s in the best online counseling programs? Not the magic bullet.
Are you chasing after a magic bullet, the perfect modality to help you shift?
Okay – here’s the surprise. I’m not discouraging you. Not at all. But I am challenging you to do so from a different place. In other words, I’m inviting a perspective shift.
It’s a familiar story.
I recently had a client who admitted on the end of our discovery call that he was doing a bit of ‘modality shopping’ and wanted to find the perfect modality and therapist/practitioner that would end his anxiety and depression.
You know, if I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this ….
[I am sighing now].
Fair enough. We’ve all been there. I have been there. I love trying new modalities. I encourage you to shop around but … attitude, empowerment, perspective are EVERYTHING here!
Here’s where it goes wrong.
You approach each new modality with built-in doubt and never fully sit in trust or surrender, like you’re on the edge of your seat waiting for the magic, healing lightening bolt to strike.
I can just hear it. Prove to me that you’ve got the goods. I’m waiting for you to save me.
You put the practitioner on a pedestal, thinking they are literally your angel-saviour, but when you don’t get the result you want, you swiftly turn on them.
[On a personal note – it’s uncomfortable, but I get it. No blame from me, it’s just part of the gig! I have teenagers who used to be adoring small children who thought I was just amazing … um, things change. I’m laughing now. Better than crying.]
This can happen particularly when the client has had childhood trauma perpetrated by a caregiver, making it difficult to trust anyone charged with caring. I understand. It’s a conversation I like to have with clients at the beginning.
You spend a great deal of time searching for help, but not so much time sitting with your pain, honouring your journey, and fully embracing it as YOUR journey – I mean as in, YOU have the right to decide on your therapy!
In this case, you may be spending a lot of energy searching, and getting caught up in the HOW rather than the WHO (YOU).
In all these cases, you are missing the opportunity to develop your felt-body-sense of what your body-mind-spirit is communicating, that next step, what it needs right now.
I know, I know – if you are in acute suffering, you are in NO PLACE WHATSOEVER to be ‘feeling into’ your intuition. You just need help. If that’s you, you are 100% not the person shopping around for the magic bullet, and please do start somewhere, anywhere.
For everyone else, here’s the perceptual shift I would like to encourage in you.
Your body/mind/soul want you to heal, and with your strong intention to get better/feel better, it will guide to to the right people.
It’s true, your body’s symptoms are communications – something is wrong, and there is an unmet need.
Flashbacks: you have unprocessed memories that need to be released from your body.
Hyperarousal: you need to feel safe, and convince your body you are safe.
[If you want more of this, you can scroll to the end of this blog to get my free roadmap to healing, because it contains an appendix of common trauma symptoms].
Your symptoms light the way towards your first step for healing, so finding a practitioner who specialises in that is a great starting point, but that’s not my point.
I’m encouraging you to hear what your body is saying through its distress, and really listen.
Be open to sitting with the pain for a bit and be even more open to being guided (yes, guided: by intuition, by your gut sense, or by your spirit guides, whatever works for you!).
Be guided to the next perfect step.
The thing is, we are each unique in how we process reality, and how we experience pain and healing.
Some people are visual, others very auditory, others kinaesthetic.
This means that some people need touch and movement to work through feelings (dance, yoga, bodywork), for others, talking and listening are the most powerful ways to start (talk therapy).
Likewise, some people carry emotional pain as illness, and others as back pain, and yet others as panic attacks. This means that possibly, some will want to start therapy with guidance in nutrition and supplements, others with bodywork that is more structural – just to give examples.
Your uniqueness also points to your unique healing path. There is transformation on offer in every modality, in every approach, when it is right for you.
Sitting with and honouring your uniqueness empowers you, and this self-empowerment will become your strongest ally in healing.
Trauma takes away your power. Healing is you taking it back.
When you really ‘get’ this statement, you take back control and the power that was taken from you when you were hurt. You become the hero of your journey, and not the Victim, and that can support you for life – in particular, and most relevantly right now, it can help you in finding the right practitioner/modality for YOU!
So, shop around, but not with the intention to find the ‘magic bullet.’ Rather, with the knowing that you ARE the magic bullet.
Your uniqueness, both in terms of your pain and your very nature, are precisely what will guide you to the perfect set of solutions.
Want more guidance on how to find your unique healing path?
I’d love to invite you to download my 6 step roadmap to healing – what makes this so different is that it’s the scaffolding, and tells you the parts you must include, but within that, you have room for pesonalizing it.
It fully gives YOU the power to step up and be in the driver’s seat of your healing journey.